I think it's disingenuous to chastise people for sharing their own experiences and feelings as not being "genuine." This is why it is so hard to have reasonable productive (thought-changing) conversations about diversity since anyone who isn't obviously different immediately gets shut down as not possibly being able to "get it."
I didn't say anything about being genuine; I think omonra's first comment was quite topical and I have no reason to think it wasn't genuine. The second comment started counting the instances of racism, pegging at 1 in 12 years and so diminishing the stories recounted, and then saying "I'm not sure it's other (ie not black, not women, etc) people's responsibility to attract more people like her to the job" and asking "How is it my problem?"
Omonra's contributed experiences are definitely useful, including the part where he says he doesn't expect to be surrounded by "his people" at work. It's the changing of the topic to "How is it my problem?" that I would like to avoid, because in general I find that the reason that it's hard to have productive conversations about diversity. Perhaps we should just spend the time to listen to each other's stories before we launch into, "Why should I care?" or "What about me?"
It is a question that can be answered directly. Really, there should be no wrong questions, just wrong answers. Shutting down the question doesn't buy any good will, you simply need not respond to it if you don't feel like it is worth answering.
Discussing these topics are always quite nerve racking, just like the complexity of the problem itself (much easier to deal with computer problems than people problems). I mean, I know you mean well, but more patience would be useful.
I agree that actually saying "How is it my problem" comes across antagonistic which wasn't my intent. Here is what I meant.
In the conversation about 'diversity' in tech today we really are talking about lack of black/hispanic individuals & women. So these are the three 'qualified' groups whose feeling of isolation at work is really discussed (and if a person fits two categories - double the points).
My point is that there are potentially many more (say infinitely more) individuals who may feel isolated and out of place. For example:
Old people
Immigrants
Lovers of opera
Extremely tall / short / fat people
etc
So anybody really who feels they don't fit it has the right to say 'There is lack of diversity with regards to X and I shouldn't change - we need to have more of X around so I feel comfortable'.
How would you respond if your coworker said "I'm a 55yo Scandinavian who loves opera and I feel like I don't fit in. Therefore I feel it's the responsibility of [company / society] to get more senior Scandinavian opera lovers in the field so I am comfortable"?
But somehow since the 3 groups in question are seen as disadvantaged we feel that the conversation is legitimate.
