The problem with this is that you are essentially lying to her while you ask her to marry you. I wouldn't be able to stomach it.
In my head there are basically three options: 1. Talk rationally and convince her that no diamond or CZ engagement ring. 2. A small ring that essentially go unnoticed to a tech person's budget. 3. Do the whole 1.5 to 2.5 Carat thing.
The problem with 1. is that people will think you are an asshole and her friends may question your commitment. The problem with 2. is that you know people are going to make assumptions about how well you are doing in life ("Did you see how small that ring was, wow, I thought he was in tech!") and the problem with 3. is that you are supporting a giant scam that makes absolutely no sense. "Ohhh, look at that! That stone is huge!" for the cost of $20 to 40 grand. It isn't even about the money, it is the idea of the whole thing.
This is a reasonable point. For me, I'm inclined to believe that if the relationship is so transactional that the diamond is a required payment, then the relationship is already doomed.
In my head there are basically three options: 1. Talk rationally and convince her that no diamond or CZ engagement ring. 2. A small ring that essentially go unnoticed to a tech person's budget. 3. Do the whole 1.5 to 2.5 Carat thing.
The problem with 1. is that people will think you are an asshole and her friends may question your commitment. The problem with 2. is that you know people are going to make assumptions about how well you are doing in life ("Did you see how small that ring was, wow, I thought he was in tech!") and the problem with 3. is that you are supporting a giant scam that makes absolutely no sense. "Ohhh, look at that! That stone is huge!" for the cost of $20 to 40 grand. It isn't even about the money, it is the idea of the whole thing.