Stopping smoking was one of the best decisions I ever made. I didn't need a gimmick, I didn't need to vape, I didn't need patches, I needed to admit that willpower was what I had lacked in the past and that I wanted better health for my family.
If you genuinely want to quit, you can do it if you learn self-discipline. Say no to social smoking, say no to just another pack, nip it in the bud today if that's what you want for yourself.
Yes, it can be psychological torture in the short-term to not take the easy route, but that's why you started in the first place. In the long-term, your quality of life will be far higher, and you'll be better off for it financially. Take the money you saved from not smoking and invest it in your own health and that of your family.
Allen Carr helped me - rather his book. Cold Turkey. No withdrawal symptoms, urges - nothing. It just made smoking seem so illogical (basically we smoke to feel "normal" again, as we are trying to fix nicotine withdrawal). The book did not use health scare tactics, hypnosis, or any of that. I highly recommend his book to anyone who wants to quit.
Couldn't find the book, do you have an ISBN or link for it? Would love to gift it to someone I know who loves to read but equally loves to smoke and would like to stop.
I disagree. I think a lot of people try various gimmicks and tactics without staring themselves in the mirror and deciding that they actually want to for themselves.
Exactly. The gimmicks are a compromise. It's just switching the medium you're getting your fix from. Any compromise becomes more compromises where you've supposedly done better by switching to x, but you still haven't quit, and like with vaping, may actually be worse for you, and has become a hobby with all the different odds and sods to modify your vaping setup with.
The intent to quit is something you have to be very honest with yourself over.
I say this with countless former smokers in the family, and homeless levels of alcoholism on my partner's side of the family. People can live through hell on the street for decades, people can try and help them too in all kinds of ways from treatment to money to a job, but if they don't want it for themselves then nothing is changing in the long-term. "It's just one drink". Life down the toilet once again, they never actually quit.
And yes, they eventually got off the street after almost twenty years, but it took them to genuinely care about themselves and want better.
How is it useless? If I acknowledge that placebo gimmickery didn't stop me smoking, but just powering on through withdrawal and not giving in to the easy instant gratification, how is that bad advice? It isn't like alcohol where it might actually cause you brain damage to suddenly stop.
People generally don't go to living facilities for cigarettes, nor sell themselves or everything they own or end up on the street jacking off strangers because of cigarettes though.
I don't disagree with you, but the context was telling people to "just quit smoking," which is pretty silly advice because of how addictive it is. Those same people probably wouldn't seriously say, "just quit heroin."
As a person, I always look for the most efficient and frictionless way to achieve something, the "path of least resistance", including not feeling like physical or psychological trash (read "instant gratification"). That's a character trait and a character flaw.
Trusting in the methodology and idea that "yes, this feels like shit right now, but countless millions of people get through this stage of withdrawal, and they go on to live great lives where they don't feel like crap anymore and instead feel better than when they smoked". When you're down in that ditch, not just quitting, but because your life is sub-par in various ways, and smoking is something you can rely on to make you feel better, it's hard to just leave it alone, and it's difficult to trust that others are right when you have a cynical outlook on the world and it feels like people frequently misguide you and others, so why would it be any different this time? That's a bad perspective. Apply logic and reasoning. Wrestle with it. Rationality.
People would invite me outside for a smoke over a pint, or after achieving something, or after a difficult conversation. I "rewarded" myself with a cancer stick for doing something on the project management system, all kinds of weird little things you do to justify a smoke "because I achieved x and I should be rewarded for x", but the reality is that you were rewarded for x anyway, and x was kind of fun, that's why you do it in the first place, but your worldview revolves around getting the next nicotine fix.
It isn't even just the nicotine. It's "you" time. It's a ritual. It's time to decompress mentally and not look at a screen, do something with your hands that isn't work-related, and "indulge".
But it's all bollocks. There's nothing positive or of substance in smoking. It's all in the head of the smoker. They're hooked.
Sometimes it has meant avoiding certain situations with some people, e.g., I don't go to the pub, or bars. In fact, I don't drink anymore either. Been sober ~7 years now.
After a year or so of saying "no, I won't fucking do that to myself and to my family", suddenly, you just don't want a drink, you just don't want a cigarette. That's not to say that sometimes in a stressful situation I don't reminisce and go "oh, a cigarette would make me feel so much better right now", of course, that happens, then the fantasy passes, and I'm still at my desk, I haven't given in.
To anyone wanting to quit and is serious; get rid of your lighters, including the neat-looking Zippo you like to fidget with, and all the other paraphernalia. Get rid of your ash trays. Get rid of your rolling papers, filters, rolling machine (if you own one). If you're going to quit, why will you need any of it?
Don't replace it with eating junk food. Don't replace it with a cheeky glass of wine. If you have struggled with one kind of addiction, you will struggle with another. The self-discipline is being honest with yourself and reigning the monkey on your shoulder in.
And don't justify "just one smoke" with because it's a holiday or you're on vacation.
Do you see willpower (self-discipline? are these equivalent to you?) as a finite resource similar to muscular exertion? It seems easy enough to make statements such as, "Don't replace smoking with eating junk food." but, if you do view willpower as finite, your remark doesn't do much to address how willpower is trained and grown. It just implies that a person should find a way to have sufficient willpower.
I think I see willpower similar to putting on muscle mass. You need to track where you're at, consistently overload yourself but only slightly, and incorporate rest days to fully recuperate.
One of the things you hear a lot of between accountability partners (look it up if you are unfamiliar) is the phrase "stay strong" and similar stuff like "stay solid". That really sums it up in a very nuanced way. It's not giving in, it's doing something that takes mental strength, and yes, it may take building that mental "muscle".
I also see it as being primarily about intent, which forms the metaphorical foundation of that muscle. The "skeleton".
E.g., for any smoker reading, you apparently want to quit smoking. Why? Are you sure that's why? Do you actually want that for yourself yet, or is that peer pressure? Do you actually care? Why? Why not?
It's equally about living with consequence.
E.g., if you give in, you'll feel better for a short time, but you are back at square one to getting over the problem, and all your previous efforts are all for nothing. You failed, you wasted time and energy and will need to go through feeling like crap all over again, but you could have just said "no" and held out and never need to feel this crap again.
For some people, cold turkey is the only way. For others, it needs to be gradual, but for a lot of people, they don't actually need gradual, it's kidding themselves they're quitting and doing something about the problem, and in turn kidding others. I'd say in most cases, the only way you're going to get through it is cold turkey, period, and just ride out the shitty feeling, it's got to happen at some point, may as well be now if you're serious.
The "rest days" are not uncommonly complete relapses in addiction for most people. The reward is not smoking, the reward isn't a compromise of smoking now and then or having a glass of wine instead. This is why I say intent is everything. The "skeleton" you're applying that "muscle" to will get crushed if the intent isn't solid.
It's a very interesting topic of discussion to be honest. That smoking has a physiological and sociological impact makes it fascinating in how it's solved.
To anybody who doesn't smoke but is considering it, really, don't. All fun and games until you're hooked, and you will be.
If you genuinely want to quit, you can do it if you learn self-discipline. Say no to social smoking, say no to just another pack, nip it in the bud today if that's what you want for yourself.
Yes, it can be psychological torture in the short-term to not take the easy route, but that's why you started in the first place. In the long-term, your quality of life will be far higher, and you'll be better off for it financially. Take the money you saved from not smoking and invest it in your own health and that of your family.