>There's also the class of subtle insults like "I didnt know you could program". They're harder to correct, but with some self discipline, they aren't that hard.
No. Just. No.
Context matters extremely for this - and the assumption that they thought you couldn't program because of you gender is on you not them. That's why it's called an "assumption".
It's about perception. People who want to see negativity in it will and others won't. What if they're just genuinely surprised you can program because you've never talked about programming or shown you can program and it shocked them you were capable of it? How is genuine surprise an insult?
To illustrate my point:
"Your life is like a blank book."
1) You're free to write about whatever you want, to create your own decisions, and to decide what your book is going to be about. You have the ability to be anything you want to be - nobody has already written your book for you. It's yours to decide. (The common, positive perspective when this saying is used.)
2) You've done absolutely nothing in your life such that you've written nothing in the book. You're completely worthless and have accomplished nothing. If you had managed to ever accomplish anything in your life, your book wouldn't be empty. (Unnecessarily negative perspective that assumes an ill-intent where none was.)
No. Just. No.
Context matters extremely for this - and the assumption that they thought you couldn't program because of you gender is on you not them. That's why it's called an "assumption".
It's about perception. People who want to see negativity in it will and others won't. What if they're just genuinely surprised you can program because you've never talked about programming or shown you can program and it shocked them you were capable of it? How is genuine surprise an insult?
To illustrate my point:
"Your life is like a blank book."
1) You're free to write about whatever you want, to create your own decisions, and to decide what your book is going to be about. You have the ability to be anything you want to be - nobody has already written your book for you. It's yours to decide. (The common, positive perspective when this saying is used.)
2) You've done absolutely nothing in your life such that you've written nothing in the book. You're completely worthless and have accomplished nothing. If you had managed to ever accomplish anything in your life, your book wouldn't be empty. (Unnecessarily negative perspective that assumes an ill-intent where none was.)
You're assuming #2.