3 White Males (2 of them foreigners from Europe, including myself)
1 White Female
2 Black Males
2 Black Females
2 Hispanic Males
1 Asian Female
Diverse, not because we had some HR person make sure we can write a cute blog post for HackerNews on how great our "diverse workspace" is., but because it just came into place like that.
We all shared the same office space. I never felt uncomfortable and neither did anybody else (not that i know of). We all got along very well. Coming from Germany, i got thrown a Nazi joke a few times. I know how it was ment and how to take it.
Or as a fan of old school hip-hop, i found myself at concerts with a 80% black crowd. Did I, in that moment, realize that i am "the white kid"? Yep. But guess what: I don't care. I don't go on HackerNews and cry about it.
Overall: if everybody could stop being so sensetive. Grow up. People are different. Some people aren't nice. Learn to deal with it.
> I did what I thought I had to do to survive in the environment. I once again donned the uniform to fit in. Jeans, “unisex” t-shirt, Timbuk2 messenger bag. I stayed late playing multiplayer Battlefield, I quickly learned a bunch of classic rock songs so I could play Rock Band and Guitar Hero with the team, I don’t like beer so I went out to beer taverns and drank water.
The only person that is making you uncomfortable are you yourself. Really, wear what you like, play whatever you like, listen to the music you like.
In the case of the guy with the domestic abuse "jokes": that is a total different thing. That's not being racist or sexist, it is just being an asshole and legal steps against that guy should be taken.
Humour is often used to find a common ground. Humans are very uncomfortable if they don't know what another person finds appropriate or not. Faking it isn't the best way to respond to that because it gives the other person false data. I'm not going to defend the "bruises" guy because I have no idea what the context was (though I doubt the context makes it any better), but if you desperately try to fit in, that's a problem.
Of course there's no point in blaming the victim. Most teams don't have an inherently inclusive culture. Maintaining your differences when you join an otherwise homogeneous group is hard and most of us (probably women even more so than men, because culture and testosterone) were raised in a way that makes us think trying to give up our identity in order to fit in is the right thing to do because it reduces the potential for conflicts.
Ideally teams should be inclusive. That is difficult, because it goes against much of human nature (othering and tribalism used to be a good evolutionary strategy). Sometimes getting it right can be impossible. But it's worth trying.
There's two sides to this issue and both are difficult to fix. But we need to understand that they both contribute to the problem. This problem is deeply ingrained in our culture and in our natural psyche. It won't go away just because we tell people to stop doing it.
I'm from a south american country so I get the "do you feel safe?" and the "what was like to grow up in poverty?" - not to mention the 'la raza' type of comments.
These stereotypes are annoying but it's whatever, you shrug it off and find something to make fun of the people saying those things - 'Do you go through withdraws if you don't eat your frosted flakes every morning?'
Do I feel like I belong in a group of people from my country? Well, maybe? If I know them and I'm friends with them. If I do, it sure as hell isn't because they're from my country but because they're good people. My primary group of friends is all WASP (white anglo-saxon protestant), and I don't feel like an outcast.
> Overall: if everybody could stop being so sensetive. Grow up. People are different. Some people aren't nice. Learn to deal with it.
YEP. That's it. The world will be a better place once people stop hating other people based on their physical characteristics and start hating them unconditionally.
I worked at a rather "diverse" company.
3 White Males (2 of them foreigners from Europe, including myself)
1 White Female
2 Black Males
2 Black Females
2 Hispanic Males
1 Asian Female
Diverse, not because we had some HR person make sure we can write a cute blog post for HackerNews on how great our "diverse workspace" is., but because it just came into place like that.
We all shared the same office space. I never felt uncomfortable and neither did anybody else (not that i know of). We all got along very well. Coming from Germany, i got thrown a Nazi joke a few times. I know how it was ment and how to take it.
Or as a fan of old school hip-hop, i found myself at concerts with a 80% black crowd. Did I, in that moment, realize that i am "the white kid"? Yep. But guess what: I don't care. I don't go on HackerNews and cry about it.
Overall: if everybody could stop being so sensetive. Grow up. People are different. Some people aren't nice. Learn to deal with it.
> I did what I thought I had to do to survive in the environment. I once again donned the uniform to fit in. Jeans, “unisex” t-shirt, Timbuk2 messenger bag. I stayed late playing multiplayer Battlefield, I quickly learned a bunch of classic rock songs so I could play Rock Band and Guitar Hero with the team, I don’t like beer so I went out to beer taverns and drank water.
The only person that is making you uncomfortable are you yourself. Really, wear what you like, play whatever you like, listen to the music you like.
In the case of the guy with the domestic abuse "jokes": that is a total different thing. That's not being racist or sexist, it is just being an asshole and legal steps against that guy should be taken.