You reminded me of learning abstract algebra, in the last year of my college. The subject is extremely abstract, and I try hard to learn the key ideas, without realizing I need do it intellectually, instead of just thinking it more, and reading it with more care. Besides, I could not make any progress on that book, it just got me frustrated. And then I gave up, I hope to continuing my study in grad school, but I could just not get my feet in.

I'm slow, I think, and I can not do well in math. So I just let math get off my life, and trying to be a computing hacker as well as an entrepreneur.