This was also me (literally with dog leashing bit). I didn’t use a therapist, but ultimately finding validation outside of work helped a lot.

As the father of the family, you’re the leader. Your wife and kids are going to suffer a lot more from you losing control, while work might not even remember you next year.

Did it change anything after diagnosing?

Wondering what you did differently after that

Yes. I started taking medication, which helped pretty much everywhere in my life.

It also helped me take a step back and realize that sometimes I unconsciously stayed at jobs due to the continually changing (typically stressful) environment.

Oh that's very comforting to hear. I might need to go see someone if I can get diagnosed on this.