I first learned that it was possible to intentionally act "normal" when I was 12 (I'm now 47). So I spent a lot of years studying people to figure out how to do those things they did automatically but I had to do manually.
Later I learned it's called masking and a lot of people like yourself think of it as bad.
But it made my life immeasurably better.
I hated how I acted and how people reacted to me when I was young.
I wouldn't even know how to turn off the "masking behavior" now and I never would have become who I am without it.
Maybe it's because I was young and didn't know any other people like me but I don't think labelling this survival technique as hell is right for everybody.
Later I learned it's called masking and a lot of people like yourself think of it as bad.
But it made my life immeasurably better.
I hated how I acted and how people reacted to me when I was young.
I wouldn't even know how to turn off the "masking behavior" now and I never would have become who I am without it.
Maybe it's because I was young and didn't know any other people like me but I don't think labelling this survival technique as hell is right for everybody.