If you get anything as succinct and focused as what I (genuinely) wrote myself, I'll gladly take the criticism!

to be fair i pasted your prompt into chatgpt and it was genuinely funnier and more readable than the article, it even had jokes.

They are EVERYWHERE. Behind desks. In alcoves. Possibly in your very home...if you've recently borrowed War and Peace and failed to return it on time.

lol