Have you considered that maybe there isn't a "perfect" or "ideal" person, of either sex? Other than "providing a comfortable lifestyle while not working all the time" (which is arguable even what that means), the things listed above are literally just being an adult in a mature relationship. Helping with chores? Being emotionally available? Knowing how to hold a conversation? How are these qualities that you think are so difficult to attain that only the "ideal" man has them?
Most people don't have all of this traits. Most people have childhoods with abuse, or neglect, or bad parenting, or accidents, and young adults make mistakes and have hard times. Lots of people don't have resources. Being well read requires a lot of free time, being a good conversationalist requires experiences and perspective. Being emotionally available either requires having never been screwed over by someone you trusted or years of intense inner work. Becoming a well rounded person is very difficult to attain, hence why most people fall short on at least one of those qualities.
You won't accept less. That's great, I won't either. But it's not table stakes, youre demanding someone above average, it took me a decade of wandering through the desert and real inner work and self betterment to become and then find an above average partner, and I'm lucky. I have no problem with your standards, you should have them, but calling them table stakes is unreasonable, you should understand that what you want, and I don't know you so it may be warranted, is absolutely above average and not the base model man. I wish they were bare minimum qualities of most people, the world would be a much better place.
