I believe most people feel like this. Don't chalk it up to "the crisis of the 30s". That's media-talk. That's years of movies and tv series teaching you that men looking for purpose after 30 are somehow cringe. If there's one bit I want you to take away is: never gaslight yourself. You feel like your job is fake because IT IS fake. Chances are, your work is boring, repetitive and meaningless just as you described. For all the material comforts and advances in health-care, there's something deeply unsettling about the modern world. My advice is to accept that, on some level, happiness is about taking care about your biological needs. Go back to basics: do you sleep well and long enough? What is your diet comprised of? How often do you have sex? Do you practice any sport? How much time do you spend in nature? When you feel truly alive, you also feel less pressured to find a purpose. At the same time, you will be mentally and emotionally equipped to seek one.