Nah, the machine was just wired entirely backwards. The +9V off the power supply was connected to 0V inside, and was in fact acting as the 0V with the other delivering the +9V. The wires were marked on the power cable, and were just backwards, so when I snipped and spliced on a new power supply with the polarity correct, it was then reversed inside.
Doesn't that make it a heater, instead of doing nothing?