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> assume this wild idea isn't feasible given vinyl data rates?

Data rates go up if you spin the disk faster, and can get fast enough for 2D video. I don’t think it was vinyl, but https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Television_Electronic_Disc:

“Program information was stored in the form of ridges in the surface of a thin, flexible foil disc, which was claimed to be sufficiently robust to withstand being played 1,000 times. The main technological breakthrough was the vertical recording method that reduced the track pitch to 0.007 mm, and increased the rotation speed to 1,500 rpm, making it possible to record 130–150 grooves per millimeter, compared with the typical 10–13 grooves on an audio disc. This increased the available bandwidth from around 15 kHz to 3 MHz.”



Amazing, first I've heard of this. Here's footage of someone playing a Television Electronic Disc: https://youtu.be/XkP4ZJnMVOs?si=QbT4EXrE1dpq-Rtz




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