I agree with other comments that it can be easy to conflate the actual person on the other side of text with the imagined person. But, there are also other possibilities to consider too. I am speaking generally here, not assuming we know the background of that once sentence.

Overall, a person's identity is not so clear cut as we like to think. Whether in text or in person, people are often performing and wearing some kind of mask rather than exposing their "true" selves. (And, one might ponder whether a true self really exists separate from these layered behaviors.) For one reason or another, some folks may have more modes than others or switch more easily by different nuances of context.

A romantic idealist might think of a text-first relationship as somehow meeting the true person. They might even believe that they've found a soul-mate and invest in ideas like "beauty is the person inside". That they are more advanced and would not judge a book by its cover. But to meet in real life, they eventually will discover how they respond to the outsides too. The face, the voice, the body, the pheromones, the posture and mannerisms. Finding incompatibilities at this level can create a strong cognitive dissonance.

But also, people sometimes compartmentalize aspects of their personality and behavior. They might be dedicated to their real-life relationship but almost put on an alternate ego as an escape. They behave like a different person in this other (possibly secret) mode. Someone meeting this alt-person could be in for a rough ride if they do not understand that it will always be a background "fun" mode for the other party, not something they would prioritize or allow to supplant their primary lifestyle.

And finally, some might find control or security in an alternative context. Whether virtual chat or just some other space compartmentalized from real life, they may find it easier to escape boundaries of their primary social personality. They might bypass shyness or anxiety or repression expected by their social circle. But in a crossover setting, they might involuntarily shut down, to the bewilderment of someone who knew them in their escapist space.

> And finally, some might find control or security in an alternative context. Whether virtual chat or just some other space compartmentalized from real life, they may find it easier to escape boundaries of their primary social personality. They might bypass shyness or anxiety or repression expected by their social circle. But in a crossover setting, they might involuntarily shut down, to the bewilderment of someone who knew them in their escapist space.

Very well put. I'm pretty sure this was the case where I had online contacts that didn't work out IRL. I had a really strong connection but they were not able to continue this in real life due to physical distractions. Or in one case, I wasn't.