Hi, I have been a father to our son for 3 years. Looking back, there are a lot of preparations that I should make time for before my son was born, but neglected for this or that reason. I hereby provide a summary of my reminiscence for would-be fathers to better prepare for the event.
Context: I work in IT. I prefer to "talk" to computers than to humans. I'm not particularly excited (neither the averse) about the event. We have sound financials (we already have at least 2-3 years of total costs prepared) before and after our son was born. Neither of us love exercises. If you have a completely different type of personality, this might not apply to you at all. This guide also assumes that you just got the news of pregnant so you have more or less 7-8 months of time between now and the event.
PART 1: Mental preparations
1.1 Please recognize that this is going to be a tough experience for an undetermined amount of time.
Explanation: First, everyone agrees that this is a tough experience. I can tell you why. We don't have a tough kid (the only illness is asthma but doc told us that's pretty much a third of the kids out there, plus he only went to the hospital twice for treatment), but there are all kinds of smaller issues that can keep you out of bed. Feeding during night, nightmares during night, occasional vomit due to sickness, etc. I have never had one good night of sleep since he was born, and I believe my wife feels the same.
Second, people are going to be tell you that it's going to be "better" after age X. No, they are wrong. It's not "better", but simply a different set of issues. You will always worry about something every day. The anxiety might numb a bit but it's always there. I guess you can set X to say 21, when he finally goes out to the world by himself.
1.2 Please recognize that you might have < 1 hour of free time every day.
Explanation: This is exactly my case. I used to have a lot of free time when my parents were helping us, but now it's zero hour. Some parents manage to divide work so one can always enjoy some free time every other day, but in our case our son wants to sleep with both of us. I guess it means a lot to him so I always comply to it.
Anyway, it's going to strip away ALL of your hobbies and career growth if you are unlucky. My recommendation is: if you really need to teach yourself something (like a certificate for career growth, or a serious step for a hobby), do it RIGHT NOW. You may not have the time or energy for the next, say, 5 years. This may sound weird (how come I won't have time for the next 5 YEARS?) but what I really meant is that you might not have no CONSECUTIVE LARGE BLOCK of time for the next 5 years, and you will need those for serious study/hobbies.
1.3 Please recognize that you might dislike your kids when frustrated.
Explanation: I'm going to elaborate a bit before you think I'm a demon. Basically, when someone, or something breaks your sleep and takes away all of your free time, the reward needs to be really big to overcome the negative feelings. There is indeed reward but it is inconsistent, but the frustration is always there. Please know that this is pretty normal and you are not a demon. You will feel better when you get used to it.
1.4 Please recognize that you might need to sharpen up social skills.
Explanation: This probably only applies to me. I, to be frank, never really enjoyed talking to humans. I still don't like it but having a kid forces me to have small chats with other people. I have yet to learn how to host a party and other advanced topics. I'm not stretching it but it's a lot more difficult than studying computer science.
Explanation: If you are like me, you will almost certain get hit by depression because everything is going against your characteristics. Depression may also hit your wife too. Please make appointments BEFORE it hits either of you. Worst (or best?) case, you don't get hit by depression and can simply cancel the appointments.
I'd also like to add that depression is particularly nasty because it DEMOBILIZES you. You don't WANT to do exercises. You don't WANT to see a doctor. People who never got depression will never understand this. You need something to bootstrap you, to pull you from the mud so that you can at least seek some help. That's why I asked you to make appointment BEFORE anything happens.
PART 2: Physical preparations
2.1 Taking care of kid(s) is very physically demanding
Explanation: You need to carry them around for hours. You need to struggle with them when they do not want to eat/sleep/wear clothes/whatever that ordinary humans do. They will NEVER hesitate to use 150% of their strength, and trust me it is very physically demanding. My son is only 3 but it already takes two of us to put clothes on him when he is struggling.
PLUS you don't get good sleep on top of everything else. You are going to get arm pain, back pain and all sorts of stuffs that you believe that only older people get. AND you won't have the time to cure them properly, because you have work to do and kids don't pause themselves.
2.2 Playing with kid(s) is very physically demanding
Explanation: Kids don't stop. Whence they can crawl they will crawl all over the place. Once they can walk they will try running down the hall. Once they can run they will happily run into cars/walls/rains/thunders/demons/whatever they are not supposed to run into. It is your job to watch them. And they don't care whether you are sick or not.
They can't be bargained with. They can't be reasoned with. They don't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop... ever, until they are completely exhausted!
2.3 Taking care of sick kid(s) is even more physically demanding
Explanation: I guess you already understand this so I don't need to elaborate this point. Just pray that you can get through ER as quickly as possible, and pray that your kids do not need to stay at hospital/home for too many days. Always reserve a few sick days/vacations when the season changes. September and January are particularly bad!
2.4 Exercise as soon/often as possible
Naturally this leads to the conclusion that you need to shape up as quickly as possible. You still have 7-8 months. You still have enough time to shave off 20-30 pounds of fat and add a few pounds of muscles. Draft up a plan and start from TODAY! Consult a physician if you are overweight to protect your knees. There is a tough fight of X years ahead of you so get up and move.
2.5 Get as many medical examinations as possible
People tend to skip medical examinations. But you really should have a full check-out before the event. You need to know your weaknesses before they remind you of their existence. Ask for an extensive blood test and other tests (e.g. check your joints). Stick to it and make plans if you find anything bad.
PART 3: Misc. thoughts
3.1 You should ask for help as soon as possible.
Explanation: Grow a thick skin. Ask your friends for used toys and clothes. They are fine as long as they are clean. You can save thousands of bucks by doing that. Ask your parents for help. They don't have to but tell them it means a lot to them, plus they get to play with grand children. SAVE every bit of $$ and energy and time you can. You can also ask them for experience but know that every family differs so take it with a grain of salt.
3.2 Read some books and get prepared.
Explanation: You don't have to know everything beforehand, because you can't. Just prepare for the first 3-6 months and you are good to go. Know symptoms of common sickness and buy supplies beforehand. Learn first-aid if you have the means. It's going to be tremendously helpful.
3.3 Make sure that your home is well prepared.
Explanation: Humans tend to skip maintenance of their houses. If you know of a water leak, or a roof leak, or whatever that may pose inconvenience or even danger to the new born, get it fixed immediately. You don't really want to deal with it in the first few months.
3.4 Know about the surroundings and others
Explanation: Know where the parks are. Are they safe? Did your kid have a pediatric? Did you phone the daycares to book for a space? (In Canada we usually call and make space as early as possible because it takes years to get a space) Do you know other would-be parents in the area, and if you do are you going to socialize with them? Do you know how to drive? Did you get a license and a car? Having a car is super convenient for would-be parents no matter of the status of public transportation.
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These are all of my thoughts right now. Good luck.