You seem to have some misguided ideas about management that you first need to get rid of.
- Management isn't a "next step" for developers but an entirely different career path. You don't naturally progress into it, and no one owes it to you. It takes a whole new skill set and lots of deliberate work to make the switch.
- Like any other job title, "manager" isn't handed out based on seniority but skill. If you think it is "humiliating" to get managed by someone younger than you then you don't have the right mindset for the role to begin with.
From my experience these are both more true in tech than any other industry. Getting managed by someone younger than you, someone more junior than you, someone making less money than you etc. are all very common. If you can't get used to it then you are always going to have a bad time.
As for how to switch into it – it is very unlikely that anyone is going to hire you for a management position with zero experience. If you want to grow into it your best bet is to do so at your current company. First become a leader as an IC, someone who defines technical paths, does cross-team collaboration, clears up ambiguity and someone who junior teammates can generally look up to for guidance and inspiration. If you don't meet these requirements it's unlikely you will be able to succeed – both as a manager or as a staff+ engineer.
At first glance everything you have written (can't tolerate work, feel humiliated working with younger managers, stagnant in your job, no motivation, considering lying on your resume) comes across as massive red flags, and I'm not surprised that you aren't able to get ahead. My overall advice is to take some time for reflection and self improvement and then form a plan for yourself to get out of this rut.
> If you think it is "humiliating" to get managed by someone younger than you then you don't have the right mindset for the role to begin with.
Granted, the industry seems to feed this, too.
For example, two former [younger] underlings occupy the next two spots up on my chain of command. It seems like I am constantly asked why I didn't move up or "get the promotion". I respond with "they do a better job of managing than I would do" or "I don't like meetings".
And the truth is, I was offered both spots at one time, but I knew what those jobs entailed: a lot of meetings, a lot of managing, and very little engineering. And I didn't want them.
Another truth is, and I'm 100% fine with this fact, is that they do a far better job than I would/could have done. They enjoy working with people, and I enjoy working with systems (although that's somewhat changing with age and I'm enjoying the people part a lot more). But they have 0% time to work on engineering duties.
It would strike me as an arrogant thing to say, especially when they're better at management than I am. It would feel like I was crapping upon their skills and abilities.
I was just suggesting you could be more up front that it wasn’t for you so you felt less judged, but you could still praise the people who ended up doing it!
"It takes a whole new skill set and lots of deliberate work to make the switch." This is very much true. Right now you are managing code. As a manager you'll be managing people, your managers, and in many projects. Managing people can be very difficult. You not only deal with the business day to day issues but you'll have to deal with some of the life problems of the people you manage. Some people love it and others dislike it. It's not a higher level of writing code. It's just different and requires new skills.
BTW, young managers can be at any level of the management structure. It's very possible that your new boss as a manager could be younger than you.
Speaking as someone with a decade as an engineer and another decade in management roles, I wholeheartedly agree with every single point here. I suggest reading The Manager's Path by Camille Fournier to better understand what the path to management (and beyond) looks like.
I became a manager through the developer route, 6 years now since I started as an IC, spent 2 years doing that then got promoted to senior dev and then had a choice to become a manager after 3 years of being senior, then I took it.
It's rare to be a manager that can also code but it is possible.
I'm fairly sure paxys meant "in the ideal scenario". It's good to assume that instead of helping perpetuate dysfunction by assuming the worse (them, not you).
Still true that it's not based on seniority, though. And there will generally be some kind of skill involved, even if its (eg) skill in the sleazier end of soft skills rather than skill in management per se.
> Management isn't a "next step" for developers but an entirely different career path. You don't naturally progress into it, and no one owes it to you. It takes a whole new skill set and lots of deliberate work to make the switch.
Really love this phrasing. It's so so true. It took me almost ten years to make the jump from when I decided its what I wanted to do (because at the time I was just a junior desktop support person). It has been worth it though.
I think being a Lead Engineer / Hands-on Engineering Manager is a natural progression path. It’s a bit like being a project manager and an engineer, so I think you’re being a bit harsh here. There’s plenty of paths forward. You can then move on to a staff engineer, principal engineer, and distinguished engineer or just CTO or founding engineer of a startup.
- Management isn't a "next step" for developers but an entirely different career path. You don't naturally progress into it, and no one owes it to you. It takes a whole new skill set and lots of deliberate work to make the switch.
- Like any other job title, "manager" isn't handed out based on seniority but skill. If you think it is "humiliating" to get managed by someone younger than you then you don't have the right mindset for the role to begin with.
From my experience these are both more true in tech than any other industry. Getting managed by someone younger than you, someone more junior than you, someone making less money than you etc. are all very common. If you can't get used to it then you are always going to have a bad time.
As for how to switch into it – it is very unlikely that anyone is going to hire you for a management position with zero experience. If you want to grow into it your best bet is to do so at your current company. First become a leader as an IC, someone who defines technical paths, does cross-team collaboration, clears up ambiguity and someone who junior teammates can generally look up to for guidance and inspiration. If you don't meet these requirements it's unlikely you will be able to succeed – both as a manager or as a staff+ engineer.
At first glance everything you have written (can't tolerate work, feel humiliated working with younger managers, stagnant in your job, no motivation, considering lying on your resume) comes across as massive red flags, and I'm not surprised that you aren't able to get ahead. My overall advice is to take some time for reflection and self improvement and then form a plan for yourself to get out of this rut.