As for the deep revulsion of being surrounded by tons of people, you're right, you have that right to feel that way. Personally, a crowd of 50,000 people is still easy to walk through, but even 1,000 people trying to leave a big sports event in their cars at the same time is a total nightmare taking an hour+ and during that whole time you are completely stuck in your car. I left a soccer game in Tokyo that was at a completely absolutely full stadium, and when it ended the huge mass of people slowly and orderly filed to the nearby train stations and we were on a train (packed) heading home within 20 minutes, at full speed.

It would be lovely if we could choose which lifestyle suits us, but most of the cities in the US do not provide ANY option for someone who wants proper high-density, so to exercise my "freedom" to live in a pedestrian friendly high-density city involved leaving the US entirely.