I was in this same spot couple years ago. I read this book that was recommended in this very same forum. It's called Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool. It's by Emily Oster. It was helpful.
I really appreciated the economist view of parenting as trade-offs and acceptable risk she presents. The way medical information is communicated to general public is very binary and once a particular practice is recommended, it is treated as an absolute must. I'm sure this makes sense for communicating to the general public, but I am very capable of understanding risk and probability and making a weighted choice for what makes sense.
Also, the baby-industrial complex loves this binary view because it allows them to sell products that are "better".
