What you described is exactly why I'm waiting to install more automation in my home. I think Matter + Homekit (assuming Apple continues to work on Homekit as it's still pretty clunky for me UX-wise) will eventually be the solution for me as I'm already so deep in that Apple ecosystem.
If you've watched Linus Tech Tips videos recently, there's hours of content covering his Z-Wave woes. It's funny, his house is supposed to be automated but it ends up eating significantly more of his time in debugging than a manual house would.
If you have good wifi, you don't need to wait. I have a two story house and the floor plan looks like a T-shape, so I basically have 6 different zones. I pulled Cat6 everywhere for decent AP coverage. Right now I have about 80 Meross light switches and dimmers, 6 wifi blinds, wifi garage openers, Ecobee thermostats, multiple Apple TVs, ton of personal devices - easily over 200 devices on the LAN, most of them connected to HomeAssistant. Instant status updates with no problems except for the occasional need to reboot a wall switch due to power issues. Meross has a tiny hidden button at the bottom of each switch that instantly reboots the switch.
I bought Meross products off Amazon in bulk and absolutely love them. I have single pole switches, 3 way switches, single pole dimmers, 3 way dimmers, and a few smart plugs, power strips, and RGB bulbs.
PS: I even have a few Z-Wave devices and bought Zooz Hub ZST10-700 to work with HomeAssistant. I use these to measure power consumption on a garage freezer and a space heater. As long as the Z-Wave devices are close to the hub, there's no issue. But oddly enough they sometimes send negative power usage data which HA complains about.
The funniest part is he have to use two smart thermostat in each room and he realize that one smart thermostat heat up the other one and fucked up the temperature reading.
If you've watched Linus Tech Tips videos recently, there's hours of content covering his Z-Wave woes. It's funny, his house is supposed to be automated but it ends up eating significantly more of his time in debugging than a manual house would.