In coming to us, asking for help with your problem, you demonstrate strength, in spite of feeling badly.
Since you mentioned thinking of suicide, I must strongly recommend you talk to a mental health professional. If you don't already have an appointment, tell us your city and we'll come up with a resource for finding one in your area.
These can narrowly constrain your opportunities. If we know, we can perhaps offer more realistic help.
Do you have:
money?
car?
housing?
physical disabilities? Legal problems?
(Of course, you're not required or compelled to share any personal details with us.)
Once all that is addressed:
You need to focus on success in the place of focusing on failure.
You need to see that you can accomplish, yourself, a goal.
Not knowing anything about you and your life, I recommend:
Goal: walk for an hour every day - in any number of shorter walks, if you'd like or have to.
Steps:
Preparation: P1. Cancel broadband service at home. P2. Get a small, blank notebook as a daily log.
Daily actions: D1. Go for a walk. Out the door, or a bus or car ride away. Mall, abandoned train tracks, park, city streets, airport, your driveway - doesn't matter particularly. D2. Immediately after your walk, log your walk: date and time. D3. Shower, shave, dress neatly. No excuses on this one. D4. Go to a busy place for an hour. Bring pad and pen. No phone or computer allowed. D5. Immediately after your visit there, log it: date, time and place.
Follow-up:
F1. Repeat this everyday this week. F2. Next Monday, check back with one/all of us.
Hint: The goal is accomplishing the action, not having a feeling ("Happy!" "Fulfilled").
In coming to us, asking for help with your problem, you demonstrate strength, in spite of feeling badly.
Since you mentioned thinking of suicide, I must strongly recommend you talk to a mental health professional. If you don't already have an appointment, tell us your city and we'll come up with a resource for finding one in your area. These can narrowly constrain your opportunities. If we know, we can perhaps offer more realistic help.
Do you have: money? car? housing? physical disabilities? Legal problems? (Of course, you're not required or compelled to share any personal details with us.)
Once all that is addressed: You need to focus on success in the place of focusing on failure. You need to see that you can accomplish, yourself, a goal.
Not knowing anything about you and your life, I recommend: Goal: walk for an hour every day - in any number of shorter walks, if you'd like or have to.
Steps:
Preparation: P1. Cancel broadband service at home. P2. Get a small, blank notebook as a daily log.
Daily actions: D1. Go for a walk. Out the door, or a bus or car ride away. Mall, abandoned train tracks, park, city streets, airport, your driveway - doesn't matter particularly. D2. Immediately after your walk, log your walk: date and time. D3. Shower, shave, dress neatly. No excuses on this one. D4. Go to a busy place for an hour. Bring pad and pen. No phone or computer allowed. D5. Immediately after your visit there, log it: date, time and place.
Follow-up: F1. Repeat this everyday this week. F2. Next Monday, check back with one/all of us.
Hint: The goal is accomplishing the action, not having a feeling ("Happy!" "Fulfilled").
I look forward to hearing from you.