>as for it to be racist you would have to believe that people of a certain race are inherently superior in some form or another.
I don't think that's the standard definition, I think treating people differently because of their race is usually considered racist, even if the discrimination is of the "separate but equal" variety. Especially if the difference in treatment is due to stereotypes and prejudices.
>People want different treatment as a result of their different values and life experiences that they gather from their cultures
Yes exactly. A white kid adopted by someone in a village in Kenya isn't going to want to be treated like an Englishman, and a black kid who grew up his whole life in a Montana country town full of white people with white parents (probably) doesn't want to be treated differently than the rest of the people in the town even though he's an entirely different color. "Colorblind" is a good policy in these circumstances.
If someone wants to be treated differently purely on their color I will wait for them to tell me (individually tell me, not someone else of the same color to tell me) and presume not otherwise.
I don't think that's the standard definition, I think treating people differently because of their race is usually considered racist, even if the discrimination is of the "separate but equal" variety. Especially if the difference in treatment is due to stereotypes and prejudices.