I completely relate and it was the same for me for a LOOOOONG time -- as I mentioned, I got some pretty dumb "personal trainers" few times in a row; they were more like guides to show me around the gym equipment and not actual trainers. Shitty luck but I didn't give up.
And the negative reinforcement isn't completely gone for me even today. I still mis-step sometimes and over-train a bit and then I don't want to do it for 5-7 days after. It's still a constant internal fight.
However, I'll still say that you haven't found what really works for you. My mother is 69 and she gets absolutely revitalized just by stretching for 25-30 minutes with almost zero strain or cardio. Weird, right?
It really depends on the person. There are almost no formulas.
You can find what works for you. Don't be discouraged to experiment -- pilates, light cardio (running, swimming, hiking, buying an elliptical at home, or a treadmill etc.), tai-chi / qigong, aerobics -- it doesn't matter what your thing will turn out to be. It is still out there waiting to be found by you.
But for me to start reaping even basic benefits I had to do no small amount of other things like stopping all dairy and most carbs, eating more veggies (which I still hate months later btw!), get various physiotherapy treatments -- electricity, laser, ultrasound -- and even take melatonin pills to attempt and make my sleep schedule less erratic. Only after persisting at maintaining like seven parallel operations, for weeks, did some first small positive effects of the exercises start to show.
It's a nasty grind. Think of it as overcoming huge negative inertia. It can be beaten but it can be an extremely thankless job for a good long while.
As a rather non-encouraging example, my wife had a friend who was fat and a bit unhealthy ever since she was a kid. When they were both 16 that girl figured she had enough and got a dietitian and a trainer and completely changed how much she eats, what does she eat, when etc., and also worked out 5 out of 7 days. It took her ONE YEAR of doing this, consistently and without skipping, to drop even one kilo and to start truly becoming healthy and losing weight. Ouch. But it did happen and she's completely transformed now.
Again, it's a grind. Motivating yourself to endure it is 50x harder than doing the exercises -- at least for me. My fight still continues (yep, even with the first positive results in). I hope yours will continue as well.
And the negative reinforcement isn't completely gone for me even today. I still mis-step sometimes and over-train a bit and then I don't want to do it for 5-7 days after. It's still a constant internal fight.
However, I'll still say that you haven't found what really works for you. My mother is 69 and she gets absolutely revitalized just by stretching for 25-30 minutes with almost zero strain or cardio. Weird, right?
It really depends on the person. There are almost no formulas.
You can find what works for you. Don't be discouraged to experiment -- pilates, light cardio (running, swimming, hiking, buying an elliptical at home, or a treadmill etc.), tai-chi / qigong, aerobics -- it doesn't matter what your thing will turn out to be. It is still out there waiting to be found by you.
But for me to start reaping even basic benefits I had to do no small amount of other things like stopping all dairy and most carbs, eating more veggies (which I still hate months later btw!), get various physiotherapy treatments -- electricity, laser, ultrasound -- and even take melatonin pills to attempt and make my sleep schedule less erratic. Only after persisting at maintaining like seven parallel operations, for weeks, did some first small positive effects of the exercises start to show.
It's a nasty grind. Think of it as overcoming huge negative inertia. It can be beaten but it can be an extremely thankless job for a good long while.
As a rather non-encouraging example, my wife had a friend who was fat and a bit unhealthy ever since she was a kid. When they were both 16 that girl figured she had enough and got a dietitian and a trainer and completely changed how much she eats, what does she eat, when etc., and also worked out 5 out of 7 days. It took her ONE YEAR of doing this, consistently and without skipping, to drop even one kilo and to start truly becoming healthy and losing weight. Ouch. But it did happen and she's completely transformed now.
Again, it's a grind. Motivating yourself to endure it is 50x harder than doing the exercises -- at least for me. My fight still continues (yep, even with the first positive results in). I hope yours will continue as well.