At least in the US, there is a general decline in participation in social organizations. People don’t go to church picnics anymore, but many don’t really go to anything else either. And in recent years we have discouraged approaching people in the workplace. I think that’s the correct thing to do, because work should be kept separate from personal life. But that also leaves fewer ways for people to meet each other in a social setting, especially folks who don’t go to college or grad school.
Over 95% of marriages where I’m from are arranged. It’s not a perfect system, but has a number of advantages. Family in my opinion is a lot more rational about a young person’s strengths and weaknesses on the relationship market than the young people themselves. They have experience in what’s more important in a relationship or less. Some of my cousins have had arranged marriages in the US and Canada and they’ve been great matches.
> People don’t go to church picnics anymore, but many don’t really go to anything else either.
I suppose that raises the question of intrinsic motivation. Perhaps some people aren't very interested in partnerships and absent the social structures like religion that actively push them into prescribed partnerships, they might just prefer not to pursue them. I'm not sure that is a bad thing.
> And in recent years we have discouraged approaching people in the workplace. I think that’s the correct thing to do, because work should be kept separate from personal life.
The workplace is still a pretty good place to meet potential partners if you have the right social skills, social awareness, respect, and tact. Often it's just the initial introduction that happens there, and people find they have other common interests outside of work where they get to know each other better.
It's much more challenging if you don't have the social skills to navigate what is appropriate or inappropriate behavior at work. For such person, having a family or community organization assisting can help, or people like the old world match-makers.
> Perhaps some people aren't very interested in partnerships and absent the social structures like religion that actively push them into prescribed partnerships, they might just prefer not to pursue them.
That’s a theoretical possibility but I don’t see much evidence for that. Do young folks today seem happier and more well adjusted than folks who were the same age 20-30 years ago? Myriad social well-being indicators are trending in bad directions.
I think many people who are single (men and women) would be happier in a relationship, but don’t have the tools and skills to succeed in the relationship economy. They need society to guide them and provide structure just like they need society to do the same thing in the employment economy. And the older generation has abdicated its duty to provide that social infrastructure, leaving young people to fend for themselves. Libertarianism doesn’t produce desirable outcomes for the median person either as applies to economics or society.
> The workplace is still a pretty good place to meet potential partners if you have the right social skills, social awareness, respect, and tact.
I’ve never met a woman who thinks that. We are talking about people’s livelihoods. Even if a small fraction of men have the social skills to accept rejection without letting it affect their work interactions with a person, most do not, which means that women will mainly encounter those who do not.
Over 95% of marriages where I’m from are arranged. It’s not a perfect system, but has a number of advantages. Family in my opinion is a lot more rational about a young person’s strengths and weaknesses on the relationship market than the young people themselves. They have experience in what’s more important in a relationship or less. Some of my cousins have had arranged marriages in the US and Canada and they’ve been great matches.