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Same here (European, btw, not Japanese). I've only ever been on one "date" in my lifetime. The rest of my mating life has always been in the context of friend groups, rather than 1:1 meetings in some public place.

Things that I have done that I don't consider a date:

- meeting up at a friends' house while both knowing the other would be there, then leaving together afterwards (not 1:1)

- just meeting up after class/work and spending the evening together (not an event)

- accompanying each other to some mutual friend's event (concert/dj gig, party, theatre show) (not 1:1)

- going to the movies with a friend because her boyfriend wasn't into horror, but I was (1:1, and an event, but no romantic intent)

- inviting each other over for game/movie nights with friends (not 1:1)

- making plans together (e.g. for music festivals, concerts, sports events) and inviting friends along for added fun (not 1:1)

- going out for dinner together while we're already going steady (strictly speaking it's a date, but not in the context of "dating")



How is going out to dinner with your steady partner not the most unambiguous example of a date?


I've gone out to dinner with my mother and long-term friends, but I'm not dating any of them. Sometimes eating is just eating.


Emphasis on with your steady partner


My steady partner is a long-term friend. Not everything is sexual or dating just because we are, in fact, in a relationship that includes sex.

Sometimes eating is just eating.


Going steady is commonly understood to mean a long term , serious romantic relationship

Being obtuse and choosing obscure definitions of terms to win points on technicalities isn’t clever, it’s childish


I do know what it means. That doesn't mean that everything done while in that relationship has anything to do with romance. Sometimes eating is just eating. This isn't making up definitions. It is acknowledging there is a vast difference to what folks call "date night" and stopping to eat on the way home from a destination. Sometimes eating is just eating.

Calling me childish for having that view seems childish in itself. I'm simply not romanticising everything.


Semantic arguments are childish




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