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“Each copy contains a certain percentage of recycled paper.”

"And what percent is that?"

"Zero... zero’s a percent."



Sort of like when a food product is advertised as "Made with real cheese". I assume this means that the product is all chemicals, but there's a block of cheese in the factory manager's lower desk drawer.


One of my influential childhood memories was realizing that a product labeled 95% Fat Free was probably 5% fat.


Any food product that uses terms like "home style" or "home-made flavor" should be required to include large, lurid pictures of the factory floor where the stuff is made.


“And other artificial flavors”




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