> I feel like there's always something odd about some of these taught communication techniques, where I feel like there's a reason these communication styles don't come naturally to us, and there is a bit of a manipulative aspect to them.
This definitely can be true, but in practice these techniques shape your understanding of people. Motivational Interviewing and NVC both draw upon an attitude of acceptance—that is, treating the person you are talking to with accurate empathy for their perspective, support for their autonomy, affirmation of their strengths and efforts, and the belief that they have intrinsic worth.
Someone who is comfortable thinking of themselves as a manipulator could pretend to believe such things for the sake of coming up with the right thing to say, and if they're a skilled liar then they would likely get away with using the technique manipulatively at least some of the time, but if you interpret your interactions as if you are accepting of the people in your life then it is far more natural to genuinely think of them with an attitude of acceptance, which is fundamentally at odds with manipulative behavior.
That is, I would argue, the primary benefit of learning these conversational styles for a layperson: the language you use shapes the way that you think, and intentional non-violent communication begets non-violent thought until non-violent communication becomes natural.
This definitely can be true, but in practice these techniques shape your understanding of people. Motivational Interviewing and NVC both draw upon an attitude of acceptance—that is, treating the person you are talking to with accurate empathy for their perspective, support for their autonomy, affirmation of their strengths and efforts, and the belief that they have intrinsic worth.
Someone who is comfortable thinking of themselves as a manipulator could pretend to believe such things for the sake of coming up with the right thing to say, and if they're a skilled liar then they would likely get away with using the technique manipulatively at least some of the time, but if you interpret your interactions as if you are accepting of the people in your life then it is far more natural to genuinely think of them with an attitude of acceptance, which is fundamentally at odds with manipulative behavior.
That is, I would argue, the primary benefit of learning these conversational styles for a layperson: the language you use shapes the way that you think, and intentional non-violent communication begets non-violent thought until non-violent communication becomes natural.