It's a hard problem. Some people don't want to talk for good, well-founded reasons; others (and I'm often guilty of this myself) don't want to talk because they just instinctively flinch away from hard but necessary discussions.

1:1 is a tool that requires a certain level of skill to be used successfully. it can be used for many purposes and in many ways.

if you're describing your past experiences, you should definitely level that skill, especially if it makes you uncomfortable.