> The author forgot his last option: not installing any of this garbage in his home
That's me, the funny part is as a programmer people ask me for my recommendation on this stuff, my answer of "wouldn't install any of that crap in my house in a million years" confuses them usually.
Lol, I know the feeling. My entire family looks at me as the "tech guy" because I'm a developer. Recently talking with my mother, she asked if I saw something on her FB and I reminded her that I refuse to use FB due to their data harvesting. It blows her mind that something so common and "techie" (to her at least) is so despised by me.
What's the point of a home that depends on centralised Cloud services? "Sorry Dave, there's a bug in the Cloud, can't let you turn on that light-bulb".
Regardless, to those that's have no clue how to procure a good offline solution themselves, Alexa, Google, and Siri are the only options.
I went with Ikea for a some small amount of smarts that can be completely offline, at least for their lights. It has not always just worked but what does always will no cloud needed.
And ZWave light switches, though some electrical (re)wiring may be required, so depending on one's comfort with Angary Pixies and their wrangling, this particular path may be a smidge trickier.
The author forgot his last option: not installing any of this garbage in his home