Latest Ryzen's CPU perf and max 128GB ECC UDIMM should be enough for most users, but it still lacks homelabby features and flexibilities. I need more than 16x PCIe lanes that supports ACS and IPMI, so I go for EPYC build. It's great except idle power consumption. I with they improve it to Xeon level, but maybe chiplet architecture (8CCD and massive CCD) isn't good about it.
It was my initial thought since X399D8A-2T mobo (X399 but has IPMI) existed for TR 2000. But they changed chipset for TR 3000 and TR 3000 don't offer 16 core SKU (it's enough for me). I also found that even TR 2000 build isn't much cheaper than EPYC because it needs ECC UDIMM that rarely sold cheaply rather than ECC RDIMM. So finally I go for EPYC Rome.
For hypervisor, I recommend Proxmox VE.