Suddenly Amy snuggled against me and asked if I had come back to stay with her forever. I held her and glanced over at Kay, but there would be no support from that quarter: she looked at me as if to say, “Tell her, Steve. Tell your daughter you’d rather ride a bicycle than be with her.”
I nuzzled Amy’s hair. “No, sweetheart, I have to leave soon.”
“I want you to stay here.” She wiggled and hugged. “I love you, Daddy.”
“Oh, Amy, I love you too.” My voice was on the edge of breaking. “But I’ll have to go in a couple of days.”
“Why?” She looked up at me, her face perfect and innocent, warm in the soft light of the living room. I had a sudden image of a winter night years before, cuddled with Kay before the antique fireplace of that old Victorian house in Louisville. We had gazed into the flames while sharing popcorn and hot apple cider, drawn together in the warm security of our endless love — the sense of family. Now I awkwardly held my little girl and tried to figure out how to explain the lure of technomadic adventure. They both waited for my reply.
“Honey, I have to travel — I have to… oh, I don’t know how to explain it. I’m riding my bike around the country and writing a book about it.”
“Why?”
“Well, it’s exciting. It’s fun.” I almost launched into a whole explanation of the freedom versus security trade-off, but I was talking to a three-year-old.
She smiled up at me and gave me another hug. “OK. I’m going with you!”
> “Well, it’s exciting. It’s fun.” I almost launched into a whole explanation of the freedom versus security trade-off, but I was talking to a three-year-old.
Selfish asshole is an apt term to apply here. Imagine telling your child "I have more fun riding my bike than being with you."
This hit me so hard - and I appreciate the honesty in this chapter. Life is choices, and I certainly wouldn't have made the choice he made, but I'm glad he doesn't gloss over the impact of the choices he made. Very well written
Not to discount this passage, but fathers being absent is almost a trope until very recently. Many generations since the Industrial Revolution have grown up barely knowing their father, unless he had a job that allowed him to be around the children more than the usual.
Long days at the factory were the norm, not the exception. However, to leave them entirely for months at a time was definitely not normal. I think most men would not want that.
> Long days at the factory were the norm, not the exception. However, to leave them entirely for months at a time was definitely not normal. I think most men would not want that.
Maybe in urban context, but in the country it was common to:
* go to the summer pastures for several months;
* go for agricultural seasonal work for 1 month, 2 months (nowadays it is about picking fruits and vegetables, it used to be about cutting hay and harvesting corns (scythe works));
* the same for mining work; so basically in agricultural down times at your place, you'd go and work as a hired hand somewhere else; agriculture as mostly a mean of subsistence, not much as a mean of income, income would come from the salaries brought back during those "down" times; it is still like that in less developed countries/areas.
And I am not sure that, in those days, all kids were extremely happy to see the return of the fathers when they returned, for they had heavy hands and sturdy belts :-)
Back then there was also a much greater sense of community than there is in recent times. It wasn’t just a single parent raising the child but the whole community was an extended family. So the whole family dynamic was radically different.
These days we are much more dependent on dads being present. Which, as a dad of two myself, is so much more rewarding than working a day job anyway so while I think we’ve lost something in terms of communities we’ve definitely gained something in terms of Dads being more active.
I honestly can’t understand why anyone would chose cycling on their own over bonding with their kid. You lose out, the kid loses out; everyone loses.
Yeah, I remember seeing his exploits covered back in the day. Seeing now that he had a kid he had left behind put him and the decisions he made in a different light.
Still fascinated by what he did but I'm sad to see the people he hurt.
That hit me hard too. It’s the kind of action that stays a child for their whole life and casts a totally different light on this guy and his adventures.
This is the Opportunity Cost of entrepreneurship. You should read `No, You Can’t Have It All`[0] by Mark Manson. Sometimes you just have to forgo certain things to follow your dream
Maybe more the opportunity cost of being an egotistical douchebag? It's amazing to see the stories in the magazines talk about the tech and the future of work, but gloss over the world of hurt this guy appears to be leaving in his wake.
At least he's aware and honest about the decision he was making.
Maybe circumstances unexpectedly got him into the situation of having kids yet not ready to prioritize the kids over other things he wanted to do.
Or maybe he didn't think kids would benefit from a parent around as much as I and many others think kids would.
My own parents seemed to put the kids first, then other duties, very selflessly, so that's my default assumption and feeling for what I'd do. And effectively why I don't yet have kids, since career isn't yet where I want it to be.
Wow I love this guy's content (immediately got sidetracked away from the linked page and started reading at a frenetic pace). It is the sort of treasure trove that I am lucky to stumble upon once a year at most.
In fact, reading this stuff really stirred me up. It makes me think of the C.S. Lewis book "Surprised by Joy" which I think described this sort of feeling, but with the feelings in the book sourced from fiction/fantasy works. At least that is what I remember from reading it 7 years ago.
Edit: Trying to think of other websites that I loved like this:
AfroTechMods.com like 20 years ago
Ludens.cl about 10 years ago
...these are hard to think of, but I'm sure it is not a once-a-decade event.
Sun started sponsoring "WORDY" in 1990, and his bike ran FORTH, of course:
In article <65315@newstop.EBay.Sun.COM>, wordy@Corp.Sun.com (Steven K. Roberts) writes:
|> Hi...
|>
|> Are you interested in ongoing reports from the bikelab here at
|> Sun? I am working around-the-clock on BEHEMOTH (the successor to
|> the 16,000-mile-old Winnebiko), a 350-pound recumbent bicycle with
|> satellite earth station, GPS satnav, handlebar keyboard with
|> thumb mouse, ultrasonic head mouse, SPARC IPC for CAD and mapping
|> and file-serving, Hypertalk user interface to the trio of FORTH
|> real-time systems, heads-up display on the PC LAN, biketop
|> publishing environment, complete ham radio station, micro security
|> sensors, 54 speeds, regenerative and hydraulic braking,
|> refrigeration and active helmet cooling system, speech synthesis
|> and recognition, audio crosspoint network, MIDI, CDROM drive, 82
|> watts of solar panels, amateur television station, portable R|> &D
|> lab, RF packet data link between manpack and bike, stereo,
|> extensive camping gear, and so on.
|>
|> Sun has become a major sponsor, providing workspace and
|> facilities here on the Mt. View campus, and my job is to
|> disseminate diverse information on bizarre human interfaces,
|> portability, packaging, wireless networking, and the underlying
|> nomadness that has kept the whole project alive for 7 years.
|>
|> To facilitate publication of technical reports on the project, I
|> have started an alias called Nomadness. If you'd like to receive
|> ongoing updates, subscribe by sending a note to:
|>
|> nomadness-request@bikelab.Corp
|>
|> Thanks, and cheers from the unixycle lab!
|> Steve Roberts N4RVE
|> x65037
Solar panels on a bike? Curious choice. Seems like a lot of weight to lug around and a lot of downsides any time it isn't sunny when you could just use a dynamo to generate power instead. Though maybe in the late 80s dynamos were inefficient enough that it wasn't worthwhile?
My brother (who also reads HN) has spent long periods living "on his bike", and still opts to pull a trailer with a small flexible solar panel on top of it in order to provide power for his laptop. He has a dynamo hub too, which is generally fine for recharging his phone, but since he tends to want to do work too, having the laptop be charged also is important and I don't think that the dynamo is capable of that.
I don't know how much the old bike generators weighed, but a modern dynamo hub weighs a pound or more. A cyclist will use around 100W of power to ride 12mph, so a 50% efficient 10W dynamo will cause 20% extra drag.
I'd rather have the solar panels, even though they only charge in daylight, they charge whether I'm moving or not, and I don't have to supply the energy from my legs.
His "Behemoth" bike had such low gearing for hill-climbing that, as I recall it, the bike had two retractable small wheels, one on each side, that worked like training-wheels to stabilize the bike at very low speeds.
######
Suddenly Amy snuggled against me and asked if I had come back to stay with her forever. I held her and glanced over at Kay, but there would be no support from that quarter: she looked at me as if to say, “Tell her, Steve. Tell your daughter you’d rather ride a bicycle than be with her.”
I nuzzled Amy’s hair. “No, sweetheart, I have to leave soon.”
“I want you to stay here.” She wiggled and hugged. “I love you, Daddy.”
“Oh, Amy, I love you too.” My voice was on the edge of breaking. “But I’ll have to go in a couple of days.”
“Why?” She looked up at me, her face perfect and innocent, warm in the soft light of the living room. I had a sudden image of a winter night years before, cuddled with Kay before the antique fireplace of that old Victorian house in Louisville. We had gazed into the flames while sharing popcorn and hot apple cider, drawn together in the warm security of our endless love — the sense of family. Now I awkwardly held my little girl and tried to figure out how to explain the lure of technomadic adventure. They both waited for my reply.
“Honey, I have to travel — I have to… oh, I don’t know how to explain it. I’m riding my bike around the country and writing a book about it.”
“Why?”
“Well, it’s exciting. It’s fun.” I almost launched into a whole explanation of the freedom versus security trade-off, but I was talking to a three-year-old.
She smiled up at me and gave me another hug. “OK. I’m going with you!”
“My bike’s not big enough for both of us, Amy.”
“Then I’ll ride my bike.” She started to cry.