this is very true, when you indicate a pronoun preference that doesn't sync up with your presentation of gender, people seem to take it as something you're happy to argue about or explain. there's this idea that you are now responsible to them for an explanation and justification. it's crazy.

i use they/them and have had to respond to "you don't look any different", and have to inform the person that i don't feel the need to "perform" my gender to their expectations. it's mine and it is how i want it to be, not how they envision it to be.