Firstly, I’m glad you’re able to relate but I’m also sorry to hear you go through the same thing. I know from experience it can be incredibly painful and lonely at times.
> How do you exit from this state?
I wish I had a good answer for you. Most of the time I snap out of it through “brute force” by focusing my attention elsewhere. Building and doing things with my hands (like playing an instrument, cleaning around the house, or even playing with LEGO) seem to be the most effective ways for me to overcome it. Some days that works well, and other days I’m right back to my habits after just a few minutes.
Work is also a good distraction for me sometimes because I enjoy what I do, but I spend my day working in front of a screen so sometimes I wonder how much that helps vs hurts.
I think the most important thing I’ve done is just recognize when it’s happening, that way I can at least try to break the pattern. I mostly just take it one day at a time.
> Psychotherapy doesn’t help much, even though I plan on allowing more time for it, I know it takes time!
I’ve been in and out of therapy most of my life since I was a teen (I grew up in a toxic and abusive household so much of my focus has been recovering from that). Some of it has helped but for whatever reason it doesn’t always “stick” like I hope it would. I’ve also tried various medications but my “issues” seem deeply rooted, existential, and not easily overcome by a pill.
I truly hope you find something that works for you! I know it’s not easy but I try to stay optimistic that one day my efforts will prevail and something will give.
> Building and doing things with my hands (like playing an instrument, cleaning around the house, or even playing with LEGO) seem to be the most effective ways for me to overcome it.
Same here, even though LEGO can stress me out sometimes! But playing music is always a great source of peace! Reading even, as long as it's fiction. Asimov seems to redirect my attention to a single target, and that helps!
> Work is also a good distraction for me sometimes because I enjoy what I do
This also is the same for me, but there's a minor part (let's say 20% or 30%) of my job that I don't really enjoy, and that really sets me back, every single time...
I will try following your suggestions, and I will focus more on different activities that can distract me in a positive way!
I wish you all the best, and I hope with all my heart that 2021 will bring resolution to your issues!
From you username I would guess that you like Haskell, I also love it! :)
> How do you exit from this state?
I wish I had a good answer for you. Most of the time I snap out of it through “brute force” by focusing my attention elsewhere. Building and doing things with my hands (like playing an instrument, cleaning around the house, or even playing with LEGO) seem to be the most effective ways for me to overcome it. Some days that works well, and other days I’m right back to my habits after just a few minutes.
Work is also a good distraction for me sometimes because I enjoy what I do, but I spend my day working in front of a screen so sometimes I wonder how much that helps vs hurts.
I think the most important thing I’ve done is just recognize when it’s happening, that way I can at least try to break the pattern. I mostly just take it one day at a time.
> Psychotherapy doesn’t help much, even though I plan on allowing more time for it, I know it takes time!
I’ve been in and out of therapy most of my life since I was a teen (I grew up in a toxic and abusive household so much of my focus has been recovering from that). Some of it has helped but for whatever reason it doesn’t always “stick” like I hope it would. I’ve also tried various medications but my “issues” seem deeply rooted, existential, and not easily overcome by a pill.
I truly hope you find something that works for you! I know it’s not easy but I try to stay optimistic that one day my efforts will prevail and something will give.