I just lost my drivers license due to a medical issue (my "controlled" epilepsy ain't so much any more). My partner left for a six-week trip recently. I'm working from home because my office still can't open up. Most of the stuff near me is still shut down. I'm effectively restricted to a relatively small radius around my house.
I'm trying to get out as much as I can, and go as far as I can. I'm taking the opportunity to get more cycling in-- which is my hobby anyway, but it feels odd in light of the fact that now it's my ONLY reasonable option for, say, getting to the grocery store.
I think if my partner were home, I'd be okay. I think if I had my license and could just go around and take a drive somewhere, I'd be okay. I think if work were back to normal and I could spend the days working with people in close proximity, I'd be okay.
But it's everything together that's just screwing me up. I feel isolated. I feel trapped. I'm losing weight because I'm not bothering to cook or eat beyond the occasional slice of toast or handful of trail mix. I'm not sleeping well, which is making my seizures worse, which is going to make the wait for my license reinstatement take that much longer. All the stuff reinforces all the other stuff, which makes it difficult to break out of it.
I don't know. I'm lucky that my seizure are not, comparatively speaking, all that bad. I'm lucky that I have a job, and that I can work from home-- plenty of my neighbors and friends are out of work. I'm SUPREMELY lucky to have the love of an incredible woman whom I love dearly, and who makes me want to be a better person. I'm lucky to be able-bodied enough to go cycling, and I'm definitely lucky to have the money to afford my groceries.
All in all, I don't have it bad at all. But everything just feels like shit right now.
Hey, that really sucks about the license issue! Tooling around in my car is one of the few things keeping me sane. Hopefully you live somewhere nice enough to bike consistently. My SO and I have been walking and cycling a ton.
I understand that feeling lucky but everything feels like shit. I hope you start to feel better!
I just lost my drivers license due to a medical issue (my "controlled" epilepsy ain't so much any more). My partner left for a six-week trip recently. I'm working from home because my office still can't open up. Most of the stuff near me is still shut down. I'm effectively restricted to a relatively small radius around my house.
I'm trying to get out as much as I can, and go as far as I can. I'm taking the opportunity to get more cycling in-- which is my hobby anyway, but it feels odd in light of the fact that now it's my ONLY reasonable option for, say, getting to the grocery store.
I think if my partner were home, I'd be okay. I think if I had my license and could just go around and take a drive somewhere, I'd be okay. I think if work were back to normal and I could spend the days working with people in close proximity, I'd be okay.
But it's everything together that's just screwing me up. I feel isolated. I feel trapped. I'm losing weight because I'm not bothering to cook or eat beyond the occasional slice of toast or handful of trail mix. I'm not sleeping well, which is making my seizures worse, which is going to make the wait for my license reinstatement take that much longer. All the stuff reinforces all the other stuff, which makes it difficult to break out of it.
I don't know. I'm lucky that my seizure are not, comparatively speaking, all that bad. I'm lucky that I have a job, and that I can work from home-- plenty of my neighbors and friends are out of work. I'm SUPREMELY lucky to have the love of an incredible woman whom I love dearly, and who makes me want to be a better person. I'm lucky to be able-bodied enough to go cycling, and I'm definitely lucky to have the money to afford my groceries.
All in all, I don't have it bad at all. But everything just feels like shit right now.