I am not having a great time and I'm not entirely sure why. A broad list of factors:
I'm slowly passing the this-is-mostly-easy threshold in University. I expected that, but it's still somewhat sad. Before, I could put in the time and finish any homework on my own, now I get stuck on exercises or lecture notes fairly frequently. I've noticed that I easily obsess over the meta ("I should have read the notes vs watched the recording, that cost so much time") and I'm making some progress as far as not feeling guilty for not performing perfectly.
I'm also not sure what I actually want to do. I was cautiously eyeing academia because I like the idea of intellectual freedom (in CS, so not as concerned about the culture war) and enjoy teaching, but I haven't really found a field that fully interests me yet. Both theoretical CS and technical CS sound intriguing, but I haven't found a sweet spot that is a) easy enough to be tractable and b) significant enough to be rewarding. I think this is mostly hitting me right now because of a lowered sense of self-efficacy and mild burnout that makes any problem look uninteresting, but I still yearn for some long-term goal that excites me and I can't find one.
I had surgery last week and have been mostly tuning that out. I'm not in any pain, but do have to wear a compression vest that gives my breathing issues if I use my ADD medication. So I'm a bit more foggy and unfocused then usual, which to be fair is still much better than having to gasp for air all day.
I'm slowly passing the this-is-mostly-easy threshold in University. I expected that, but it's still somewhat sad. Before, I could put in the time and finish any homework on my own, now I get stuck on exercises or lecture notes fairly frequently. I've noticed that I easily obsess over the meta ("I should have read the notes vs watched the recording, that cost so much time") and I'm making some progress as far as not feeling guilty for not performing perfectly.
I'm also not sure what I actually want to do. I was cautiously eyeing academia because I like the idea of intellectual freedom (in CS, so not as concerned about the culture war) and enjoy teaching, but I haven't really found a field that fully interests me yet. Both theoretical CS and technical CS sound intriguing, but I haven't found a sweet spot that is a) easy enough to be tractable and b) significant enough to be rewarding. I think this is mostly hitting me right now because of a lowered sense of self-efficacy and mild burnout that makes any problem look uninteresting, but I still yearn for some long-term goal that excites me and I can't find one.
I had surgery last week and have been mostly tuning that out. I'm not in any pain, but do have to wear a compression vest that gives my breathing issues if I use my ADD medication. So I'm a bit more foggy and unfocused then usual, which to be fair is still much better than having to gasp for air all day.