Also mindbending: Rails/jQ developers command an enormous premium in this market, but my understanding is that the people who actually lay out and draw those cheesy infographics make peanuts.
I find this your most salient critique, of all that you've leveled in this thread.
In other words, legitimate Rails/jQ skills do not require clever resumes in this market to get noticed, so from a job search perspective a simpler, more traditional resume makes more sense.
I think this invalidates some of my comments in reply to your comment at the top of this thread. :)
For anything else, particularly development, it'd be in the discard pile pretty quick.