If someone is trying to be the alpha-jerk, playing emotionally manipulative games, they're not teachable (at least not at that moment). Compassionately asking whether they had a rough childhood is not going to help. (I mean, it might, at a different time and setting. It won't in the current one, though.)

And what they are doing is not OK. Life is too short to have to deal with that kind of garbage.

So what are your options? Silently take it, but that's not helpful - not for yourself, for your coworkers, or even for the aggressive jerk who's abusing you. It's probably better to inform the jerk, in no uncertain terms, that behaving that way will have immediate negative consequences.

Now, it's better if that message comes from the jerk's supervisor, rather than from a coworker. And it may be better to start with a slightly less aggressive response (the first time).

Note well: I'm assuming that the behavior is deliberate. If it's not - if they genuinely don't know any better - they need training on how to not be a jerk. (Hey, we've all got to learn sometime.)

There's a bright line between telling someone they're being rude and being rude back. OP could communicate something like "you're coming across super aggressively right now; that makes it hard for me to have this conversation." That draws a clear maturity line. Such lines can motivate better behavior, by laying the groundwork for mutual respect. They also, in the worst case, clearly establish fault.

In a professional environment, you can't demand someone stop being an asshole by being one back. That just invites others to feel fine being rude to you in the future.

> I'm assuming that the behavior is deliberate

That is an untested assumption. Double check, preferably by asking them as directly as possible, e.g. "this is coming across in an incredibly hostile way; I don't think that's your intention."

Today doesn't seem to be my high point for patience...