While is was taking MPH I'd take 10mg three times a day (male, 76kg). The times I'd taken twice that amount would turn me into a face twisted gargoyle. 40mg would be unpleasant for sure.
I met a couple of doctors at a party once who would take 60mg recreationally each before going dancing. Seemed unreal.
They also have something like a 2 month ban on playing elsewhere after you DJ for them. And it doesn't seem like the pay is great to compensate. The upside is exposure, because their lineups are phenomenal and consistent, You don't really have to go there for the music, it's guaranteed to be good.
They'll send debt collectors and affect your credit rating if you don't pay for your renewal, even though it's not valid until you pay. You have to post a filled form to cancel the membership.
I read once that organisation is in favor of entropy. When a system organises itself it "consumes" more energy. And I think complexity could be seen as a sort of organisation. So in this case complexity is just the tendency to participate in time.
An example being the increased inefficiency, and rate of fuel consumption of aircraft with quadratic air resistance.
I'm annoyed by LLM inference speed and latency. I want my disillusionment before dinner. I'm running some experiments of RAG-analogue approaches with post-attention cache encoding, and then thinking about how distributed caches could operate to reduce the computational latency, and how interesting it is that the key-value relationship mental narrative shifts into social dynamics. There's so many fun ways to approach the topic.
My familiarity is that autistic people often experience heightened empathy not on the simulation/experiential divide but a difference in self other relations. That is, the autistic approach to intentionality places themselves verbatim in the position of the other, rather than the allistic which replaces themselves with the other.
I think given the normative social allistic approach, the autistic person generally has a higher pressure to over develop their ability to compensate. Additionally, as this process uses the self as referent, it is less swayed by differences in the other and more prone to being activitated.
I believe that this is neither good nor bad, but the austistic person often suffers on people's assumption of being able to choose where their empathy is directed, and doubly due the effects of this trait. Things like strong, real, emotional connections to inanimate objects are an instance of this that can both cause suffering or joy, but socially can be a burden.
Thus I can fully believe that your approach is functional and high performing. And that others are often flawed by it. There's an innate integrity in it, because you put yourself directly "in the shit" when you do it. I wouldn't discount it as Machiavellian or as dissociative. Could it be that the dissociation is the cost, not the cause?
> Could it be that the dissociation is the cost, not the cause?
I don't know. I know that the dissociation mostly developed as an attempt to escape from reality... my theories on this range from "I just really liked computers" to "autism and ADHD ripped away so much control over my body that I don't even want to try to control my body anymore, I just want to be an internet creature". It doesn't have much to do with the simulations, it just makes them better since I have the ability to dissociate, I guess.
I will admit you're right, though, about me putting myself in the position of others. I can feel exactly what I would feel if I were there, in that exact moment. Because, in a way, I sometimes am. Since the mind is a complex thing and all that. I'm constantly in multiple places at once, not physically or spiritually, but mentally. It happens when I'm having multiple conversations at once, it happens when I'm context-switching between multiple situations at once, it happens when I'm having cognitive dissonance, and that's not even counting the situations where there are actual other personalities active at the same time because dissociative identity disorder really is a giant clusterfuck.
Medieval Christianity revived and resumed ancient Greek culture and philosophy. That's a larger gap than we're talking about here. There's precedent if you look hard enough.
I met a couple of doctors at a party once who would take 60mg recreationally each before going dancing. Seemed unreal.