https://github.com/n0-computer/pigeons offers the same but with SSH.
I use it in my homelab extensivelly for access, tunneling smb, postgres and some other minor bits.
Iroh doesn't use DHT as its main discovery mechanism. It uses DNS/pkarr and relays as the primary method. DHT is a separate feature if folks like to do that, we don't have it on by default and don't have it on the public relays.
The whole idea is p2p but trying to be realistic about what network environments actually look like.
There has definitely been a lot of blind-idealism in a lot of P2P systems, yea. Though sometimes that's because it was/is just a PoC to see if it works at all, and then it grows too large to change / needs to be forked.
Iroh is definitely near the top of my "play with it some time" list, that pragmatism is very important for building normal things that normal people will be using :)
You don't have to have it public. You can have your app gate against any auth method you like to implement on top. And you can have private relays to segregate your traffic and discovery depending on setup.
Yes if you want to. Routers are a necessary abstraction from the IPv4 days and seems it will stick around for a long time, and we need solutions sometimes around those topologies.
A little bit of both. Natively it relies on QUIC and leverages existing IP infrastructure, however it also works with custom transports just as fine so you can interact via bluetooth for example.